i love you
even though you are in the bathroom
abusing your body, you love me
when I scream at you and spit at the demons
behind you
back in ohio, all we did was drink and drive
from there to almost dying
she wanted me to leave, to die

our sex is AMAZING
her house was really cheap but full of sad fat cats
and her inability to find someone to love

this time last year give or take a few months
Rouge was dead and you were trying to kill yourself
someothing that I know how to rather well
try to die

razor parties in the apartment before I met Michael
paint the walls with the fresh blood
wishing I had the courage to slice my own throat

painful to drown when sober
when drunk, who cares,I know I wouldn’t
it has happened before
slip on a package of meat in the bathtub and hit my head on the wall
good thing I like to wear hats
thick wool ones

sit for hours and hours picking at my face
peeling throats
while you were shooting yourself with tips of pricks
you are still doing it
I guess it is ok,
never have met anyone that can handle my mean drunk
binges eating leaves
you bought me flowers from the blind crack head
it was the sweetest gift

I am sorry I got mad at you when you walked up the street to go meet
the mexican who had the cheapest and best drugs in town
you just pissed me off when you mentioned her name
she died, she is dead
she left you for six weeks
getting fucked by clowns in red silk ties
she deserved her death

fuck her, fuck michael, fuck erin and fuck seattle
I will still help you tie the knot around your arm
hundreds and hundreds of times

if you have left me here
i know where the river is, we walked it yesterday
I don’t care about the cold, how deep it is
how it will feel, how the person who watches me will feel
how the cops who drag my bloated corpse from the shallow
will feel
if you have left me here
then I guess that is the last of these dreams of mine

everything is fine
I found you at the mexican cafe
I guess we missed each other and that is ok
I love you more than ever
you are reading the story that you love
we will go back home
watch the rest of the movie
then hopefully you will fuck me for the 6th time today
our sex is AMAZING!!!!

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