Tanuk grasped the handle of the kitchen knife
She looked at it’s beauty as the sun woke up
Glimpsed her reflection in the window
Sighed, cut her wrists a couple times
Almost like a teaser, seducing her woe
She looked like shit, felt worse, her hair
A mess this early, no one to impress
In a couple of hours, it will be back
To reflecting on depression amidst dolls
On torn sofas, her boyfriend lost his job
Again no surprises there, right?

Tanuk plopped herself down on the curb
Took a deep breath and drank from her 40oz
It wasn’t even nine yet and she was looking
For a fight, in her ripped tights, ripped right
Rightfully from years of abuse

It was a lonely existence, drinking by herself
A black lighter by her side, yellow socks
Gold slippers, faded tattoo on her right hand
Off to go sell clothes downtown
Maybe sell herself if the right moment
Comes to pass, has a knife just in case
Some Bundy comes along with his arm
In a sling, vw broke down pretending to be
Hurt, help me
It’s been almost 40 years since he started
He’s dead now but there’s always a copycat
Lurking in the shadows


Tanuk finished her cheap ass beer, stood up
To face the gloomy day that lay ahead
Up above her once positive brow
Slathered on some more red lipstick
Cocked her throat back, lunged forward
Spit! Oh! That was a good one
It flew about five feet
Checked to see if she dropped anything
Of an emotionless importance
None available, invisibility in check
Walked up to the stroll
Daring a motherfucker in his red midlife
Crisis chick magnet vehicle to fuck with
Her once, come on I dare you asshole
Get me and get yours
Tanuk was fucking pissed
The beer helped, it usually does

Tanuk went into the ultra rich hipster store
Bought herself a Fearless Mjolnir
An imperial pale ale, normally not
At all what she likes but she has found if she
Tries new things, she might find a favorite
So she smoked and drank
Like a virgin prom queen on ecstasy
Reveled in her small freedom
Made faces with birds on totem poles
Took off down the street doing what Tanuk
Does best

On her way to God knows where
She met an old man who just came back
From a drinking binge on top of a
Floating Lake in bum fuck Idaho
She bummed a smoke, they both looked
Out at the water, kids laughing and playing
Giggling themselves to pieces
Making fools out of themselves in front
Of birds










Last year at this very moment Tanuk was driving across country in a stolen U haul with a homeless man and an infant she rescued from the trash in a Wendy’s bathroom. They were on their way to the beautiful beaches of California to find the homeless man’s daughter who he hadn’t seen in over sixteen years. All he knew about her was that she had a boyfriend named Plato, lived near Venice and worked as a veterinarian’s assistant. The baby was a little boy who Tanuk decided not to report the incident, the poor little thing just needed a vacation so she wrapped his tiny body up in her burning man sweatshirt, applied some lipstick stole a purse and drove straight to Walmart for a carseat. She named him Always . Always and forever. Tanuk woke up, Always sleeping in his car seat on the floor of the motel room. He snored loud for a tiny baby. The homeless man was gone probably getting shitfaced by himself somewhere. Today had been a long drive, she had accidentally run over a sick owl in the middle of the road. The homeless man saw it first screamed, “Look out!” It was useless and the homeless man was pissed. He was godawful with humans but had this interstellar love pact cosmic we are one thing with animals